Holy belly! I look at old pictures and think, "I can't believe I use to think I was fat." It's a typical insecurity us women have. I never thought I'd gain 40 pounds. I'll admit, I've eaten whatever I have wanted. I tried to stay healthy for the most part, but deserts and carbs have been my weakness. Each ounce, each pound, has all been worth the miracle of creating this life inside of me.
I'm 39 weeks today and very anxious to see how my life is going to so drastically change in just a matter of days. I've never been so ready to be selfless. I haven't seen my daughter since we found out we were having a girl at 20 weeks. It's a little scary that if you don't have any complications, that you go this long without getting an ultrasound. I of course have fears, but I am hopeful all will be smooth once she is born.
I had my 39 week check up yesterday and I am measuring at 1 centimeter. I know that doesn't really mean much considering you can be stuck at 4cm for weeks and not go in labor or be 1cm and go into labor the next day. It is all a waiting game now!
This past week has been an emotional roller coaster. My Husband's Grandfather passed away, God rest his soul! He was an amazing man and a true hero to many. It's amazing how life works. With life, comes death. I've wanted my daughter to come and be born so bad the past few weeks and now all I want is for her to stay in until after the funeral on Friday. It's been hard dealing with the mixture of happiness in anticipation of my daughter and the sadness of a lost loved one, but I feel blessed that she will have such an amazing Guardian Angel to watch over her.
I'll have 12 weeks off from work to love and snuggle my daughter all day every day and I cannot wait! I can't wait to take her on nice long walks. I can't wait to rock her to sleep, even at 3 in the morning. I can't wait to dress her up in all of her cute little outfits, read her books, tickle her feet and smell her sweet baby smell. I can't wait to bring her to church and see her Daddy hold her and love her. I just can't wait to meet my sweet Ava Marie!